Having the Prime of My Life

I’m getting older.

A few years ago, I decided to toss my Clairol disguise and let my hair go the way of old age.

But I don’t think I’ve lost my spunk, even if I wake up with more aches and pains than when I was twenty. I choose to believe I have a future to look forward to.

In our culture, aging is often seen as the beginning of the end. America doesn’t love old people. I take the steps more slowly and take longer to traverse sidewalks. Often I feel a brush of hastiness as younger people whiz by me, some annoyed, as if I’m taking up their valuable space.

On the other spectrum, I get annoyed at the more courteous young folks, eager to help me cross the street.

I find I am at war with being old.

Our society often treats aging as a slow decline into loneliness, forgetfulness, and frailty. When I was a teenager, seeing someone in their nineties was rare. Today, people are living longer, staying active, learning new skills, building relationships, and redefining what later life can be.

Why then, do we war against getting old?

Because myths still abound.

Myth: Depression and loneliness are just normal parts of aging.
The National Institute on Aging notes that depression is not a normal part of aging, and many older adults maintain strong relationships, purpose, and emotional well-being.

By maintaining social engagement, we can fend off self-pity that can lead to depressive feelings.

Myth: Older adults can’t learn new things.
Granted, dementia and cognitive challenges are more prevalent as we age, and our cognitive abilities may slow, but we can still adapt. Recently, I’ve been trying to learn the ins and outs of AI without it taking over my thinking. Volunteering is one way older people have added to society. For me, doing puzzles and daily writing helps keep my “juices flowing,” as I tell my husband.

Myth: You need less sleep as you get older.

This is an area where I struggle. I used to take different meds to help me get to sleep. The truth is older folks still need seven to nine hours of sleep per night, according to the National Institute on Aging. I stopped anticipating poor sleep, and now I just let my body dictate. I find if I have a bad night, the next night is better. Sleep quality can change, but the need for restorative sleep remains important for mood, memory, safety, and overall health.

Myth: Physical decline is unavoidable. Exercise won’t help.

I say … phooey! I have discovered that movement is critical to a sense of well-being and purpose. My arthritis can sometimes cause me to be dependent on assistive devices to get around. I was put to shame by my 95-year-old neighbor, who took her rollator to her car and used it to take out her trash. Pride can get in the way of allowing wonderful gadgets to help us move and maintain independence.

Myth: All older adults are basically the same.

We do not lose our uniqueness in our old age. I remember my grandmother who never lost the ability to play the piano even when dementia made her forget where she was. True that some skills are harder to keep current, due to infirmities. But our basic personality stays intact. No two living organisms are completely alike, not even so-called identical twins.

“The truth about aging is not that everything stays the same—but it is also not that everything inevitably falls apart. While aging brings changes, it does not erase curiosity, independence, joy, connection, or growth.”

Let’s stop warring against our aging and enjoy the process! Aging is not a myth to fear—it is a human experience to understand, support, and celebrate.