Having the Prime of My Life

MORE ADVENTURES WITH BRIAN MAHER

God continues to provide us with purpose and adventure, even in our older years. Perhaps more so, since time and experience most often make us wiser.  Here is his report.

We had some year-end gift money left over so I said to Mr.Virak, our men's group guru and leader, "Let’s do a small Adventure Trip for the young men! The boys want a change of scenery, so how about Mondulkiri?" He needed no convincing. Anything to get out of Dodge. And it fits with our plan to make some changes in the men's group this year, so, let’s just do it. Nothing like some spontaneity! 

The farm is convenient because we have everything we need right there, but, since a change of scenery was requested, we rented a bungalow down in Sen Monorom, the very rural and beautiful capital of Mondulkiri Province. The bungalow easily held 10 or more. Some slept in beds, some on couches, and others outside in tents (like me) and hammocks. There was a campfire ring, nice shady spots for having discussions, and enough room to play games. There was a Bocci-Ball pit where the young men spent most of their free time. Bophal and our female farm hand did all the cooking. As the hot season rears its ugly head, Mondulkiri is the place to be as it is cooler than most places. And it was.

Mr. Kimlien (leads men’s work in Siem Reap) drove his motorcycle with one of his young men, 7 hours from Siem Reap to our farm. We strapped his motorcycle on the back of my pickup, and drove 3 hours south to Mondulkiri. Mr. Un Makara, longtime friend/colleague, drove up from Phnom Penh with his 13-year-old son, Pitou, on his motorcycle. When we all met at the bungalow the night before the adventure trip, Virak and the 15 young men, ages 17 to 21, were boarding the night bus in Phnom Penh. We had 4 wise elders: Virak, Makara, Kimlien, who are in their 40’s, and Mr. Raskmey who is in his early 30’s.  All led discussion groups, and shared their faith, hope, strength and experience. Only two out of those 16 men attending had fathers present in their homes who were doing their best to provide for their families in the only way they knew how. Young men need mature adult men to model how to do life, and our elders help with that. Maturity is often caught, rather than taught.

All Friday day was spent at the camping area, and Saturday was set aside for adventure, specifically climbing Nam Lear Mountain, only a kilometer from the VN border.  It’s 3,380 feet high, and completely bald, made up of Volcanic Basalt. The site is being considered as a UNESCO Global Geopark. It was very steep and even had ropes to pull oneself up by. It was like walking up a mountain on the moon, sighting occasional craters. Even grandmas and grandpas, tough old birds, were making the trek up, gingerly, pulling themselves up by the rope. The view was impressive on one hand, but disheartening on the other, as what little of jungle that is left, is still being logged, stick by stick, and being trucked over the border into Vietnam on jungle trails. The Ho Chi Minh trail still comes in handy after 60 years. Another damper was the smoke, forest fires and rice fields burning for any number of unnecessary reasons, obscuring the magnificent views. Still, it was a challenge, a bonding experience, and lots of fun. And I still have it. I was the 4th of our group of yard birds to get to the top!

What wasn’t a bummer, were the young men who attended the adventure retreat. They were eager to roll up their sleeves and do the difficult and necessary shadow work, and critical thinking to move toward maturity and grow into healthy young adults who hopefully will make good husbands, fathers, and leaders, leaders that will confront the many injustices that they and their families experience daily. The theme was Men Growing into Maturity, and we discussed how the shaping of their psyche and national identity from three areas:  Intergenerational Trauma, living in a Shame and Honor Culture, and the Warrior Heritage (Angkorian Khmer), were, in many ways, obstacles to becoming mature and responsible young men. 

Dr. Dallas Willard, “You have been Shaped, God wants you to be re-shaped.”  

Dr. M. Scott Peck wrote that for young men to become mature than need to learn 3 things:

·      To take responsibility

·      To be brutally honest with themselves.

·      To postpone gratification.

Dr. Richard Rohr: “Young men are in pain. If you don’t help them transform the pain, they will transfer that pain, every time, everywhere.”

We walk with young men to lead and assist them in this very process, informed by the above-mentioned wise prophets and elders of the faith.

Again, thanks for walking with us. Even though it seems like the world is blowing up, we will still be at it!

Peace and Grace,

Brian and Bophal, Mr. Virak and the Men’s Group

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ABOUT BRIAN MAHER

Grew up in a blue-collar family in a white and wealthy Island suburb of NYC, called Darien in CT. and our family lived on the wrong side of the tracks. Somehow, I barely made it through High School but picked up an Eagle Badge in Scouts just before entering High school. Ran track and cross country. Became a Christian at Paul Smith's College in '79, served at forester in Berlin, NY, after that went to Word of Life Bible Institute for two years in Schroon Lake, then finished a BA at King's College in Briarcliff in Christian Education. Served as a Youth Pastor in Darien, worked for Bartlett Tree Expert Co as a licensed arborist, then went to Cambodia with my African American wife and two small children and established a nationwide- Christian Youth Movement. Worked there for World Vision in Community Development, returned to the USA in 2008, and was divorced, got my life together and returned to Cambodia in 2013 and remarried a wonderful Cambodian woman with two adopted Cambodian children who my wife saved from near-death. I have been working in the area of mental health as a tool of discipleship for youth and adolescents for 12 years now, and it has been great to see many lives changed through this approach.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AZGlJULHTIM