Having the Prime of My Life

PLEASE WELCOME

*ANN CAVERA

TO

HAVING THE PRIME OF MY LIFE

Remember the story from Arabian Nights about Ali Baba and the Forty Thieves? Remember how Ali Baba used the phrase “Open Sesame,” to enter a cave that held treasure far beyond his wildest dreams? Now, imagine the look on Ali Baba’s face when he realized everything inside that cave could be his.

Hold that thought. The look on Ali Baba’s face was the same look my sweet mama had on her face every time she went through the door of a dollar store. Every dollar store was my mother’s personal cave full of unimaginable riches.

Where else could you buy rolls of wrapping paper, artificial flowers and crème filled cookies, all for a few dollars? Having grown up in the Great Depression, Mama was all about getting her money’s worth. We were fortunate enough to live near our neighborhood dollar store, and that’s where Mama believed we had to be on any given Saturday morning.

Well, there were a lot of places I wanted to be on Saturday mornings, but pushing a cart behind her in a dollar store was at the bottom of my list. Yet, there we were one fine Saturday morning – me inching the cart behind her while she crept up and down every aisle. I waited while she spent several minutes considering whether to buy the aqua or the yellow plastic placemats. Meanwhile, I struggled under a load of guilt while this self-righteous voice in my head insisted God’s plan for me was to have infinite patience with my mother.

In reality, my frustration built like a volcano about to explode. Minute after minute slipped away while Mama made earth-shaking decisions about whether to buy the pink wafer cookies or the plain. At one point, as if imparting a well-kept secret, she leaned close and whispered, “See how much you could save by shopping here?”

I did not care about saving nickels and dimes. I was in agony trying not to scream, “I have laundry to do, the kitchen floor has to be mopped, and I haven’t even started my grocery list. Fortunately, by a certain age, most women realize screaming in crowded stores is not a good option. In my frustration, I didn’t realize my mother wasn’t the problem. I was the problem.

My husband and I had come to think of caregiving as a river and we were caught riding the current. Sometimes the current hurled us through perilous rapids. Other times we drifted in nearly stagnant backwaters. Through it all, faith was the boat that carried us. True, sometimes faith carried us kicking and screaming. Once in a while, we managed to row a little. Other times, exhausted, we curled up not caring where the current might take us.

On this particular dollar store morning, I am caught in a drifting current with no way of escape until it runs its course. So, I let my mind wander and I think about a book I used to read to our children. I can’t remember the title, but this fantasy took place in a world where nothing ever wore out. In fact, all things began as old and ragged and gradually became ever more beautiful with use. A worn-out jacket became sleek and whole only after many years of wear. A dilapidated shack slowly evolved into a mansion.  

At this point, a thought hit me with such force I stopped the cart. Patience, kindness, love, generosity, gratitude; all the eternal realities that outlast this world do grow stronger and more beautiful with use. When tested, patience can either shatter … or drop by drop, become as strong as steel. Kindness grows like a muscle if it is exercised. Love multiplies only when we give it away. All of the truest realities start small and strengthen only through use.

My mother was one of the kindest, sweetest women God ever created. She spent her life thinking about other people and helping her neighbors. We did count every day with her as a blessing.

Mom never moved any faster, but on that morning in our neighborhood dollar store, I began to comprehend a deeper reality. Those Saturday mornings are gone now. I am almost as old as my mom was back then. Today, I’d gladly give up all the Saturday mornings I have left just to push a cart behind her one more time in a dollar store.

ABOUT ANN CAVERA

Ann Cavera is the host of the weekly podcast, “Speeding Past 80,” brief stories of faith, hope, love, and laughter. (Apple, Spotify, Podbean.) She is the author of the young adult novel, Ride a Summer Wind. Elk Lake Publishing, March 2024.

buy link

https://www.amazon.com/Ride-Summer-Wind-Ann-Cavera/dp/B0CYTBRWHL/

ABOUT RIDE A SUMMER WIND 

Lutie McBride and his granddaughter, Buddie, (and their small town of Whistler, Indiana) come to life in this captivating mystery for kids. Novelist Ann Cavera brilliantly weaves a stolen vase, Abraham Lincoln, secret caves, a teenage crush, mandolins and banjos, and much more together, resulting in a multi-faceted story that kids will love. 

*Author photo by J. D. Pooley)