The Hidden Cost of Unforgiveness

The Hidden Cost of Unforgiveness
Tuesday, July 7, 2026 by Debbie W. Wilson

Categories: devotional / GUEST AUTHORS / TUESDAY'S TREASURE

PLEASE WELCOME

DEBBIE W. WILSON

TUESDAY’S TREASURE

“Will you help me control my thinking?” The airport shuttle driver’s question surprised me. He’d obviously overheard my conversation with the woman leaving the shuttle. His landlady, who claimed to be a Christian, had wronged him. His eyes reflected both hurt and anger.

I sent up a silent prayer. Help this man see that to be free from his pain, he needs to forgive the woman who caused it.

I understood his struggle. “She wronged me, and I am supposed to forgive her?” That seems unfair. Yet, both Scripture and personal experience show that holding on to our perceived right to anger only prolongs our suffering and stifles our freedom to move forward. As James 1:20 (NLT) says, “Human anger does not produce the righteousness God desires.”

Bitterness hands control of our minds and emotions

to the very one who hurt us.

Unforgiveness affects far more than our emotions. It quietly shapes our relationships, our joy, and even our ability to love well.

Counting the Cost

Following a mission trip to Communist Poland, my husband and I stayed a few extra days in Europe. We took the Sound of Music tour in Austria before returning home. However, the beauty of the Alps brought me little pleasure. When we arrived in Switzerland, I’d learned my father had entered the hospital the day we entered Poland and was gravely ill.

Emotional pain drains the joy out of otherwise delightful experiences. We can’t fully engage with our loved ones or taste the goodness of life when we’re hurting.

A man invited my husband and son to join him and his son for a father-son outing. Larry remarked afterward that he wasn’t sure why the boys were invited. The man wanted Larry’s full attention and ignored his son. We later learned this man had a troubled childhood that he covered with humor. Avoidance hadn’t erased his pain. Sadly, years later, his family split. How many spouses, children, and coworkers suffer because of one person’s unresolved hurt and resentment?

A wrongdoer doesn’t have to acknowledge their wrong or ask for forgiveness for us to benefit from forgiving them. We forgive for our sake—to begin healing and fully engage with God, life, and the people we love.

Remember the distressed shuttle driver? When we reached the airport, he handed me my luggage and said, “I’m going to do what you said.” Then he smiled. “I’m going to be free.”

His words reminded me that forgiveness doesn’t change the past,

but it can release us from living chained to it.

Adapted from Big Hurt, Bigger God: Finding Freedom Through Biblical Forgiveness

ABOUT BIG HURT, BIGGER GOD

anticipated release October, 2026

What if God’s hardest command is your pathway to healing — and the only way forward?

When your heart is shattered, how do you break free and move forward? Forgiveness is often the first step toward healing — yet it can feel unfair… even impossible. Confusion and unanswered questions keep you stuck.

How do you forgive the unforgivable?
Why doesn’t forgiving erase the pain?
Do I have to trust the one who hurt me?
Does forgiveness minimize the wrong done?

Big Hurt, Bigger God introduces the FREEDOM acronym—a biblical pathway to forgiveness that helps you release deep wounds and move safely through your deepest pain.

If you carry a wound that won’t heal or wrestle to forgive someone who hurt you deeply, Big Hurt, Bigger God offers a safe path forward — biblical truth wrapped in compassion.

Through Scripture, real-life stories, and practical wisdom, you’ll discover how to:

• Release the pain without excusing the wrong
• Set wise boundaries while maintaining a forgiving heart

No wound is beyond God’s healing grace, and freedom may be closer than you think.

Learn more at Debbie W. Wilson - Big Hurt, Bigger God

(https://debbiewwilson.com/big-hurt-bigger-god/)

buy linkhttps://www.amazon.com/Big-Hurt-Bigger-God-Forgiveness/dp/1684264529/r

MORE ABOUT DEBBIE W. WILSON

Debbie W. Wilson is an award-winning author, Bible teacher, and former Christian counselor who writes and speaks to help others experience a Big God. She and her husband co-founded Lighthouse Ministries in North Carolina, where they share life with their two spirited standard poodles. Connect with Debbie, explore free resources, and learn more about her books at debbiewwilson.com.

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