Snark & Sensibility

PLEASE WELCOME

WANDA O. HOLT

TO

HAVING THE PRIME OF MY LIFE

Forty-eight years doesn’t sound ridiculous to me until I say it out loud to someone. We have been married 48 years, to each other, not cumulatively. That is a lifetime for most people. Our kids are about to be “over the hill.” We have been married 48 years, but we continue to get to know each other on a deeper level. We have experiences, places, and people yet to be discovered, together.

The Bible says, “and the two shall become one.

As the years pass, that verse means more than just a physical union. When you have shared more years together than you have apart, there is less “me” and more “us.”  Family no longer means me, my parents and my siblings. Family is what we have created together. The two of us have become one family.

It is sad to see well-worn couples who have lost the freshness of their relationship. Freshness is crucial in all areas of the relationship, not just the love life although that is important. Keeping it fresh is about getting outside of the routine, experiencing new things together and working to relate to each other intimately at every, changing stage of life.

We have a set Friday night date night. The conversation sounds like this, “Where are we going?” “I don’t know. Where do you want to go?” “No, I decided last week.” We usually end up at one of our regular haunts. To get out of our routine and to keep it fresh, we created a date night jar with ideas written on slips of paper. Some are for our favorite places but there are also slips for places we want to visit, places we always forget about (like that Greek place we love) or quirky ideas like a picnic in the park or a carryout meal in front of the fireplace.

Another way we keep our relationship fresh is by getting away alone. Technically, we are always alone but you know what I mean. For our anniversary, we took our old convertible for a driving trip on the Natchez Trace Parkway. It was cheap, slow, tree-lined and peaceful. Just what our souls needed after the death of both of my husband’s brothers in a four-month period. Just the two of us, God and nature. We could feel our bodies, minds, and spirits relaxing as we cruised along with the wind in our gray hair.

Over the last few years, God has impressed upon me to let go of competition and comparison in my relationship with my husband. He thinks he is always right but sometimes he is right. I need to congratulate him for being right instead of feeling like it is a competition. Maybe competition is why many older, married couples argue excessively. Letting go of competition and comparison allows me to see my spouse in a fresh light. I can relate to him as the smart, funny, almost perfect man God created him to be instead of my adversary.

Friends of ours just celebrated their 65th wedding anniversary. Now, that sounds ridiculous but exciting. We need to keep our relationship fresh for at least another seventeen years to match them. I know. It is not a competition.

ABOUT WANDA O. HOLT

Wanda O. Holt is a wife, mom, writer, insurance agent, friend, speaker, encourager and child of God.  She and her husband, Jerry, live in Nashville, Tennessee where Wanda is actively involved in the local business community.  They have two daughters, a son-in-law, grandson, and granddaughter. 

Wanda started writing in a diary as a young girl.  Her writing and speaking focus on Christian and ethical business topics. Wanda enjoys helping others dig deeper into God’s Word by writing devotions and small group curriculum. She also writes blogs on a variety of Christian and business topics. Her devotional, BROKEN: Finding Purpose from Brokenness, is available at www.wandaholt.com

ABOUT BROKEN: FINDING PURPOSE FROM BROKENNESS

BROKEN: Finding Purpose from Brokenness is a twelve-week, 5-day a week, Bible-based devotional.

The first eight broken topics are common to most people: Broken promises, broken communications, broken relationships, broken churches, broken self-esteem, broken bodies, broken hearts, and broken finances.  The last four topics are our response to brokenness:  Broken praise, broken will, broken but not finished and broken for a purpose.

The 120-page book also includes weekly resources suitable for small group discussion and access to online, weekly accompanying videos. Book is $15 with free shipping and will ship immediately. If you would like your book signed, just let me know.